


Psychoanalyze Me

by AidenIsTrash



Series: Morals Of Murder [1]
Category: Bandom, Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance
Genre: M/M, Mass Death, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Minor Character Death, Murder, No One Is Okay, Self-Harm, Serial Killers, Sorry Not Sorry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-08
Updated: 2019-02-05
Packaged: 2019-09-28 16:43:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17186651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AidenIsTrash/pseuds/AidenIsTrash
Summary: Mikey never had a good life, and it never seemed like it would get better. From his brother in jail for murder, an alcoholic for a mother, and being constantly bullied; it is safe to say he is not a happy person. So when someone decides to talk to him, he is very suspicious. Though maybe Pete is the kinda crazy he needs.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thePetetoherPatrick](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thePetetoherPatrick/gifts).



> TRIGGER WARNING
> 
> If you can not handle graphic descriptions of murder, gore, and abuse, please do not read. Not child friendly in the slightest, you have been warned.

Two brothers make their way through a forest in Belleville New Jersey, the older of the two leading the way. Said brother, who seems to be about twelve years old, has shaggy brown hair and golden brown eyes that hold a look of excitement in them. While the younger brother, nine years old but rather tall for his age, has short brown hair of the same colour with the same golden brown eyes holding an almost passive look to them. 

They step over protruding roots, and under stray branches as they find their way towards their intended destination. At a glance you would believe they were two normal children playing in the forest, but that was far from the truth. Both boys were haunted, hurting, and rotting to a despicable colour. Neither cared though, it was all they have ever known, and as long as they had each other they would be okay. The perfect example is where they are headed to, an abandoned shack.

"Gerard, we're going to get in trouble if we're out late again. Dad won't like it at all" Says the younger brother anxiously towards his older brother Gerard.

"Don't worry Mikey, nothing will happen to you, not if I can help it" Gerard says confidently.

Mikey sighs "but I don't want you hurt either."

Gerard stopped turning towards Mikey pulling him into his arms "as long as you are safe, I do not care what happens to me."

"But I care what happens to you" exclaims Mikey.

Without a response Gerard continues to pull Mikey through the forest, until they reach the abandoned shack. The door rusted beyond belief, creaks eerily as it opens. Inside was what would normally send children screaming to their parents in fear, but not these brothers. Knives covered in blood, along with hammers and nails as well. Not to mention the makeshift surgery tables made of wood, drenched with a sickening amount of blood.

These boys walk in as if they are at home, immediately collecting items before leaving the shack. They quietly make their way back into the forest, careful not to alert any near by animals. Finally, they spot a white rabbit, Gerard's favourite, and they slowly creep up on it. As if it is second nature, Gerard catches the rabbit quickly placing it in the bag Mikey is carrying. Mikey quickly holds it shut, tying it up to be certain the creature will not escape.

When the brother arrive back at the shack, they get to work with precision. Mikey holds the rabbit through the bag while Gerard unties it. The rabbit desperately tries to jump out of Mikey's hands towards freedom, but to no avail he is trapped. Gerard takes the rabbit from Mikey's hands, and holds it down firmly on the makeshift surgery table. Passing Gerard the nails an hammer, Mikey takes his place holding down the rabbit.

_bang_

_bang_

_bang_

The startling sound of a hammer hitting nails echos throughout the shack, but neither boy is fazed. Crimson red stains the white coat of fur as the rabbit's fate is sealed. After each nail is securely attached to the table, trapping the innocent soul, Gerard steps away to admire his handy work. Silently and with precision Gerard starts to experiment upon the rabbit, studying it's reactions and pain tolerance. Mikey silently watches from the corner, his face never changing from it's passive state. Though inside, he is fascinated by the scene before him.

Silence covers the room for what feels like hours, fascination filling both boys as the time passes. Crimson on dried burgundy drenches the room, and Gerard's hands. When all is said and done Gerard does his best to wipe off his hands, but is unable to get the blood out from under his nails. Used to this occurrence by this point, he signals Mikey to follow him out of the room. Needing to get home fast, they leave the crimson rabbit to deal with for later. Running through the forest desperate to make it home in time.

"C'mon we got to hurry" Gerard yells back at his panting brother.

"I- I- I- Know" Mikey says out of breath.

Finally, they arrive much to their relief and displeasure. Silently Gerard opens the door in hopes to not be heard. Gerard checks every corner before entering, making sure Mikey waits safely behind him. Much like the luck of their lives, they are spotted right before they start up the stairs. Despair fills both the boys a the sight of their father coming menacingly down the stairs without any effort.

"You're late" he says gruffly. Both boys gulp anxiously knowing it would be a mistake to point out how they were not actually late.

Gerard stands protectively in front of his younger brother preparing himself for the inevitable pain to come. As predicted an aching pain starts on his cheek, blood dripping down onto his clothes due to the rings upon his fathers fingers. Mikey stares wide eyed at Gerard holding his bleeding cheek. No matter how many times it happened, seeing his brother hurt always was shocking and emotionally painful.

"Got two freaks for sons, a psychopath, and a faggot" spits their father.

He grips their arms so tight it will leave a dark bruise the next day, he digs his nails into their skin drawing blood. Dragging them to the door of the basement he throws them down the stairs, tumbling painfully on the way down. "I don't want deal with you two right now, you will stay in your room for the weekend, and I better not hear a peep from you" he growls. The door slams shut, and the sound of said door locking echos throughout the cold room.

Rushing over to Gerard, ignoring his own pain "Gee!"

"I'm fine Mikey" he smiles weakly.

Sadly Gerard looks around their ' _room_ ' seeing unfinished cold basement, with concrete floors, and no furniture in sight. The only things to indicate it's inheritance are the old clothes scattered across the floor, along with a old torn up sheet that is supposed to be a ' _blanket_.' Leading Mikey to the corner of the room he lies down, resting his head upon the makeshift pillow made out of their old clothes, and covers them in the thin raged sheet.

Holding his younger brother close to him he whispers "everything will be alright, we've go each other"


	2. 1 - The World Spins Upside Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You deserve this Mikey" Gerard sadly smiles.
> 
> Knowing there is no talking him out of it Mikey sighs "Okay."
> 
> Grinning happily Gerard grabs Mikey's wrist dragging him "Lets go!"

"Bye" Mikey says.

"See you after school" Gerard waves goodbye to his brother as they go their separate ways for the day.

Mikey sighs ready for another monotonous day of invisibility. At least he has Ray though, the best friend he could ever ask for. He walks down the hallways stopping at his locker stuffing in his ridiculously run down bag. Going through his cheap binders he finds what he is looking for, the English binder. Closing the door, locking it back up, he sighs and rests his head on the locker readying himself for the coming day.

"Hey there Mikey Way" greets Ray Toro himself.

Mikey nods in response as his usual quiet self following Ray's lead towards their shared class. Sitting down at their seats side by side, with Mikey at the window in the middle row of desks. The two were not lucky enough to get seats in the back when the school year started, so they settled with the side of the room. Pulling out a piece of paper from his binder, Mikey shows Ray said paper. A picture of Mikey as some sort of wasteland superhero can be seen covered in colour.

"Gerard's new drawing" Mikey quietly tells Ray.

Ray studies the drawing in excitement "that is amazing, holy shit! You were right, he is an amazing artist!"

Mikey nods in head in response about to say something, only to be interrupted by the sound of a bell ringing. The teacher stands up from her desk starting the day "Today we are working on our essays of your chosen historical figure. Get working."

Putting away Gerard's drawing in the cover of his binder, he takes out the outline along with some lined paper. Realizing he had no way of printing out information on Anna Antonio, he got up from his desk. The teacher gave him permission to work in the computer lab, packing up his stuff, he heads towards the lab. 

Mikey was kind of excited for this project unknowing to how realistic it was going to be for him in the near future. Anna was a beautiful young sixteen year old women back in 1923. She was an Italian immigrant living in New York, not a good place of New York though. Where she lived was filled with gang violence, prostitution, and drugs. Her dream was to live in the upper district, with a caring rich husband, expensive clothes, and beautiful children. When she met Salvatore Antonio, a rich man smitten with her beauty, and determined to court her, she found her way out. What she did not know who he really was, an important mobster with the personality of the devil. After they are married she soon learns of this side of him, and is fiercely abused. Unable to leave her situation due to the law making it so that she can not get a divorce unless proving her husband is cheating. They have three kids together, and she does everything to protect them from their father. Unable to take it anymore, with the help of two gangsters under his command, she kills him.

Mikey found her situation painfully relatable, and he only wished he could find a way out. Sadly he is trapped until he turns eighteen when he is legally an adult. Shaking away the depressing thoughts of reality, reminding himself that he has Gerard. He starts to work on his essay becoming completely absorbed in Anna's life. Startled by the ringing of the bell, he quickly packs up his work, shutting off the computer, and heading out of the room. He goes through the rest of the morning mindlessly going through the motions of every day life. When lunch rolls around he meets Ray at their meeting place by his locker, and slides down the cool metal onto the floor. Ray hands Mikey half of his sandwich earning him a nod of thanks.

Ray question him "how was class?" Mikey grunts in distaste causing Ray to laugh "that bad huh?"

The conversation turns towards music as per the usual everyday. Ray talking about the new guitar he bought, and how Mikey needs to come over and jam. Mikey did not have money for a bass, Ray knowing this gave him one for his birthday a few years ago. They would go to the music store together, and Mikey would always play the bass while they hung out there. Mr. Burns the owner, is a kind man, and he did not mind them hanging around his store, just excited to have music enthusiasts to talk to.

After the bell rang once again signalling them to continue on with the day, and they go their separate ways. Mikey goes through the rest of the day excited to go to Ray's afterwards. He was fine with going over knowing that Gerard would be drawing at the graveyard, as to avoid being home. When the final bell of the day rings, he takes a fast pace through the halls, excited to get out and head to Ray's home. Ray being closer to his locker was able to get to the meeting point out front much faster.

"Stop by mine first" mumbles Mikey.

"No problem dude" Ray cheerily replies.

Dropping his bag through the open window to the basement, he makes his way towards the shed out back. Unlocking said shed, he grabs his bass and amp, leaving Gerard's art supplies alone. Relieved when he is back with Ray out front of his house, having been anxious to get as far away from his house as fast as possible. Finally reaching Ray's home, they enter going into the garage where all of his music equipment is set up. Setting down his amp, Mikey gets to his own equipment ready, while Ray does the same with his.

Playing songs from some of their favourite bands such as; Anthrax, Joy Division, and Smashing Pumpkins. He enjoys the moment getting lost in the melody. Time passes without his notice, and is surprised to see Gerard clapping in the doorway with a smile on his face. Packing up all of his equipment, he says his farewell to Ray before heading out. Then Gerard and Mikey walk in comfortable silence towards their house. After they finish putting away their things in the shed, Gerard pulls out some tickets.

Mikey stares with wide excited eyes "how did you afford these!"

Smirking Gerard replies "sold enough art commissions too afford them."

"Save your money" exclaims Mikey.

"You deserve this Mikey" Gerard sadly smiles.

Knowing there is no talking him out of it Mikey sighs "Okay."

Grinning happily Gerard grabs Mikey's wrist dragging him "Lets go!"

The theater was playing shitty horror movies for the week leading up to Halloween. Mikey and Gerard had been excitedly talking about the showing for the whole month, knowing they would not be able to go. Well Mikey had thought they would not be able to go, apparently Gerard had gotten the tickets at the beginning of the month. Mikey is jumping in his skin as they wait outside the small theater as Gerard laughs watching him fondly. 

Gerard would do anything for his brother, Mikey is his little brother and his world. He could not care less about the pain he takes every night, he has grown used to it. Seeing Mikey get hurt, emotionally and physically, he gets angry beyond belief. Never does he feel more useless than when they are at home and he can do nothing while Mikey is being beat before him. All he wants is to stand in front of Mikey as a barrier, but knows that he will be forced into submission and watch Mikey be beat worse than first intended. Though sometimes he see's red and does so, thus ending the same way every time.

Deciding not to think about such unhappy times, and focus on the moment of happiness he and Mikey are sharing. When they are aloud in, they excitedly take their seats ready for the show. Throughout the entire time they are whispering to each other about how bad it is, laughing and just generally having a good time. It was as if nothing was wrong in their lives, everything was perfect just for once.

Playing around on their walk home, laughing, shoving each other, making stupid jokes. Mikey was happy for the first time in forever, he could not ask for a better brother. Gerard was also ecstatic, he would do anything for his brother, and just seeing him smile was all he needed in life. If only the moment would never end, if only life could always be this perfect. Sadly that is not how their luck works, they can never have such happiness for long.

"You're late" seethes their father as they walk through the door.

Both boys freeze, Mikey in shock, Gerard in silent anger. Mikey stutters out "s-sorry w-we we-were only at th-the movi-movies."

"Liar, and you know how much I hate liars faggot" he yells at Mikey. "We all know you were out fucking that boyfriend of yours" he sternly says.

Mikey panics "I swear, I was at the movies!"

Their father glares menacingly "LIAR!"

He grabs Mikey by the arm, digging his nails into his pale skin, blood flowing down the poor boy's body. Roughly he drags the boy to the kitchen, slamming him onto the floor. Gerard watches in anger, trying his best not to get in the way, knowing how much worse it will be for Mikey if he does. Their father takes the boiling pot of water off the stove, originally meant for the pasta they were having for dinner. Slowly he pours the boiling substance over his son as the suffering boy screams in agony.

The father yells "I will not have lying faggots in my home!"

When their is no more water left he hits the boy with the pot, then leaving it on his chest letting the boy be burned. Mikey screams from the burning covering his body, tears running down his face from pain, and knowing that this is not the end. Their father punches the boy in an attempt to shut him up, but to no avail the boy keeps screaming. Angrily he grabs a butchers knife, stabbing it through his son's hand. Suddenly the father has a brilliant idea, grinning he takes the knife out of Mikey's bloody hand.

"If you like dick so much, maybe I can shove yours down your throat" he says causing Mikey's eyes to widen.

Gerard this whole time was getting angrier and angrier. These words were the last straw, never had their father been so cruel, and he was done with this abuse. Red takes over his vision, more vibrant then it ever has been before. He grabs the pot still burning on his little brothers stomach, and he bashes his father on the head, sending him tumbling too the floor. Repeatedly he keeps bashing and bashing, making the room as red as his vision. When his vision finally clears, he grins down at the corpse below him.

With a final glare, he spits on the monster. Turning towards his beloved brother, helping him off the table, they fall to the floor. Gerard holds Mikey in his arms as the poor boy cries. Whispers of assurance along with sobs are the only sounds to be heard in the silent house that was previously filled with screams and terror. Suddenly there is banging on the door, along with yelling. Neither boy makes a move to do anything about it, knowing that they will be separated after this, for the rest of their lives.

"I love you Mikey" whispers Gerard.

Choking on his sobs, he replies "I love you too, thank you, thank you so much."

Next thing they know the room is flooded by horrified officers. Sooner than either boy would like, Gerard is ripped out of Mikey's grasp dragged away in chained cuffs. Mikey sits in shock before he is carefully escorted to an ambulance for medical care along with a shock blanket. He knew his life was going to change from this point, he knew nothing would ever be the same. Unsure weather or not it was worth it losing Gerard along with their father, he cries. Their father he was glad to be finally rid of, but Gerard is his world, and now he is lost. What has his life become.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter one folks! This was a pretty rough chapter, sorry. Though it is a very important chapter, this is the start of everything, this is the start of Mikey's new life. I want to hug my poor boys though, they do not deserve this shit. Feedback is always appreciated!
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Love Aiden♡


	3. 2 - Lost Everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was exciting yet saddening to realize he no longer has to sleep in the cold basement

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know when I'll be able to update next, there's is a lot going on. I know I just started this story, I'm sorry.

Mikey was finally released from the hospital, no one had visited him in the past month, not his mom, not even Ray. He had a feeling that was how things were going to go, but that does not mean he is not saddened by it though. No one was there to pick him up from the hospital, as expected, and he walked the two hours home. It was tiring considering he had not walked such a distance in a long time. By the time he reaches home he is exhausted, and ready to collapse.

Walking through the door of his childhood home, not sure if he is ready to do so now that it is missing his brother. Most of the surfaces that were once clean, now were covered in in different forms of empty alcohol bottles and cans. Mikey immediately knew what was happening, it hurt him to know he is completely losing his mother, even if she was not there much in the first place. As he peered into the living room, he sees his mother knocked out on the couch with a half empty bottle of wine in her hand. With a sigh he leaves his mother as she is, in no mood to deal with her. 

It was exciting yet saddening to realize he no longer has to sleep in the cold basement. When they had guests over they had a room as the fake room that the brothers slept in, this was to cover up the darkness behind the white picket fence. Slowly he makes his way up the stairs only out of pure habit. Opening the door to the dusty room, Mikey stares blankly. Though inside Mikey is lost in thoughts and memories of times he shared with Gerard. Shaking himself out of his thoughts he collapses onto the covers, a cloud of particles exploding around him causing him to cough. Before Mikey can register another thought, he is out for the rest of the night.

Waking up that Sunday morning was a weird experience for Mikey. He woke up not in the hospital, not in the presence of his brother, he woke up alone and depressed. Over the past month, Mikey had been feeling more and more depressed. He could not bring himself to care, there was no reason to now that his brother is gone. Slowly he got out of bed deciding to bring up all of his and Gerard's belongings.

Ignoring his mother still passed out on the couch, Mikey makes his way into the basement. A few steps from the bottom he freezes. To anyone besides Gerard it would seem as if he is apathetically looking at the room, while truthfully he was on the verge of tears. For Mikey, this was where he grew up, where he and Gerard held each other as they cried. Slowly he starts to move again, robotically he picks up piles of clothes bringing them up the stairs one pile at a time. Lastly, he brings up the blanket that quite frequently failed to keep them warm, especially during cold winter nights.

Deciding now was a better time then ever he puts away all of the clothes. Once the mindless task was done he felt lost, he did not know what he should do now. Mikey decided, after a long moment of depression, to go to their safe space, where he and Gerard could always have fun. Running, though still not used to doing so, he quickly finds himself at the old shack. With a slight smile he enters the familiar structure. He stands their in silence, slowly taking in the blood surrounding him, reliving fond memories. 

Looking around he decides to explore the rest of the shack for the first time in a long time. He walks around checking every corner, opening the few doors that there are, and just enjoying the silence. When he opens one of the doors he finds a small bedroom with only enough space for a double bed and a wardrobe. Mikey has no recollection of this room, though he figures it was because he had not wandered the building since he was quite young. It shows since the room is covered in more dust then the room he stayed in last night.

Deciding he wants to take a nap, he lies down ignoring the stuffy air. His eyes drift closed as the sound of birds lure him to sleep like sirens. Sadly his dreams were not as peaceful as the night before, they were full of his monstrous father, and the police taking Gerard away. Gasping awake with tears threatening to pour from his eyes, he curls up into himself. For the first time since the incident, Mikey finally lets himself cry. His cries are full of anguish and pain, tearing the heart of those who could hear them, if they could hear him.

After his moment of what he considered weakness he wipes away, and slowly makes his way back to his house. Deciding to stop by the shed before heading inside, he grabs all of Gerard's art supplies, bringing them with him into their room. Placing the supplies on the desk he knows he will never personally use, he stands there and stares. Mikey knew what was wrong, but there was nothing he could do to fix the problem. Gerard should be with him, they should be celebrating their freedom together. Yet here he is alone while Gerard is more caged than ever.

One thing Mikey was glad for is that he did not leave his bass at Ray's, that would be an awkward conversation. The slightest of smiles pulls onto his face, but is washed away as suddenly as it came. Going down to the shed one last time, he grabs his bass and amp. When all is said and done, he realizes that he has not eaten that day. A sudden dread falls upon him realizing that he needs to go back to the kitchen, and face the past.

Gulping away the fear, he takes nervous steps into the hated room. It felt haunted, haunted by dark memories worse than any other. Gripping onto the counter, knuckles turning a ghostly white. Breaths go from steady to erratic within seconds, vision blurring with it. Suddenly Mikey finds himself on his knees facing the ground, hand trying desperate to support him from falling any further. No such luck is found for Mikey though, but it is to be expected at this point. What luck has he ever had in the first place?

Waking up Monday morning was painful, but vaguely familiar. Not taking time to contemplate why, he gets up from the floor to check the time. The clock on the stove told him that it is 11:00am, he was late for his first day back at school. Hurriedly he gets ready, and in a flurry puts together all the things he will need for the day.

Mikey was unsure what he expected school to be like now, he hoped it would be the same as before, but he knew it was false hope. He was right, everyone was in the halls due to it being lunch time, and he was the main attention of every single person around. This made Mikey extremely uncomfortable, he hated being the center of attention. Stares and whispers followed him all the way too his locker, anxiously he opens his locker grabbing what he needs for the next class.

Hurriedly he walks into his classroom, the only person in there being his teacher who immediately looks away when he enters. Sighing he goes to the back sitting in the desk farthest from the door. As he waited for the bell to ring he stares at one of Gerard's many art pieces gifted to him. He grips his arms tightly, digging in his nails to help him control his emotions. It did not help much, but it surprisingly brought some relief. Mikey always associated pain with beatings, so it was weird to find it comforting.

Interrupting Mikey's thoughts Ray walks into the classroom. Mikey sighs looking up at his old friend, watching as he sits at the desk closest to the door as to avoid Mikey. He knew this was coming, did not stop the pain it caused though. At this moment he realized how truly alone he is, how abandoned he is now. Once again his thoughts are interrupted by the slamming of hands on his desk. Whipping his head to the boy in front of him in surprise.

"So it's true, the psychopath is back" the boy teases. Mikey does not respond, but the boy continues "no one wants you here, get the fuck out" he spits. He kicks Mikey's desk before going to his own seat.

Chuckles can be heard throughout the room causing Mikey to dig his nails in harder to his skin. Ray does not laugh, he just stares down at his desk passively. Too Mikey's relief, the bell rings and the teacher starts the class for the day. He does his best too focus and ignore everything going on in his life. Though he was brought back to reality when the bell rang, and back into his new daily life. The rest of the day passed in a blur of whispers and scare judging stares. Mikey could sometimes hear what they said, the words he heard varied, but they all had one thing in common; he is a psychopath like his brother.

When he could finally leave, he sped out of the hell hole as fast as his lanky legs would let him. Knowing he did not want to go home just yet, he made his way to the shack in the woods. Sitting on the bed he napped on the day before, he does his homework preferring to get it out of the way first. Finishing up the last of his homework two hours later he falls back onto the bed, staring up at the ceiling lost in thought. What was Mikey to do now without his brother, Gerard was the only person that made him want to do anything, to live. Everything felt like a dream, he has disassociated from his own life. Sadly he knew after all this time that it is no way a dream, this is his life now; a living nightmare.

"AHHHH" Mikey screams out to the abyss for no one to hear.

Tears flow down his face as he lies there in sorrow, his voice raw from screaming. He would rather take the abuse than feel this alone. That may strange to others, but Mikey means it with all his heart. His salty eyes dry up leaving him lost and empty. Wiping away the tears he gets up gathering all his belongings. Mikey knows every branch he needs to duck for, every hole, every protruding root. Walking through this forest was like muscle memory at this point, and he loved it. Mikey freezes at the door to his house, hesitant to go inside though knowing he must. With a dissatisfied sigh he enters the haunting building. 

"Where've you been" slurs out his mother.

"The forest" Mikey mumbles back in response.

Her laugh holds no humor "I thought you'd be done with that shit by now."

"What shit?" asks Mikey tired and confused.

"Your fucking psycho shit, now that the disappointments gone" she says with alcohol filled words.

"Shut up" Mikey replies darkly.

"What you say boy?" she sneers.

"I SAID SHUT UP" he yells glaring.

She glares through her drunken haze "YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO SAY THAT TO ME!"

"YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO BE A MOTHER" he screams back.

"Your father had one thing right, you are a disappointment, and faggot" she spits at him before continuing "go join your brother why don't you, with all of your kind."

With that she turns and walks away leaving Mikey fighting back tears once again. He wanted everything to be better, but Mikey knew it could never be okay again. How is Mikey supposed to cope living with her and no Gerard. Maybe she got one thing right, he is a disappointment who can not live without having someone else to follow. Mikey truly has lost everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2 done and gone. I just can't stop torturing Mikey apparently but y'know tis' me. I know my recent mood has definitely affected how I write, basically quite dark. Anyways I really hope you enjoyed the chapter despite the sadness of it.
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Love Aiden♡


	4. 3 - Living In The Pit Of Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Hello" he says hesitantly.
> 
> "Mikey" a familiar voice says in relief.
> 
> "Gerard" Mikey beams.
> 
> "Hey little bro" a smile could be heard through Gerard's words.

Slowly Mikey got used to his daily life over the week, used too the looks of disgust and fear, along with the whispers around him as he walks through the halls. He also became used too the constant arguments with his mother, and her drunken rage. Nothing was how he wanted it to be, but it became normal and mundane, this was his new normal. What Mikey did not expect, though he probably should have, is that things will always get worse for him.

"Psychopath jr." jeers one of Mikey's classmates as he goes through his locker. Mikey just ignored the guy wanting nothing to do with him, but he did not like that one bit. Next thing Mikey knows he is being roughly shoved into his locker before it is slammed shut with laughter from the people outside "Stay locked up like your brother faggot!"

Mikey clenches his jaw in frustration refusing to make a sound. Knowing no one who would willingly help him would not be around for awhile. He did his best to get comfortable in the cramped space, but it was hard even for his thin frame. Being left to your thoughts for hours was dangerous for Mikey, but there was nothing else for him to do at the moment. So badly he wanted to see Gerard, but he did not have the money to get there in the first place. The prison was a few cities over, and Mikey could not drive, and he has little to no money for the bus or taxi. Not seeing his older brother for so long was killing him, he went from seeing him every day to not seeing him for over a month now.

Punching the locker in frustration, he sighs for the millionth time that day. Mikey found himself lost in memories he shares with Gerard. He has a strange relationship with his brother, others would call it sickening, but Mikey loves it. Gerard basically raised Mikey, and he was only three years older, and not to mention he was not the most mentally stable of people. So bonding between the two of them included capturing animals and taking them to the shack for Gerard to  _'experiment.'_ They did bond over semi normal things though, such as music, comics, horror movies. Thinking about all of it though, brought more pain, he is no longer able to spend time with his big brother like before. It felt like his life was cracking to reveal a new one.

Mikey began pounding his head against the locker in frustration, slowly the force of his hits growing stronger. His head began to ache, and dizziness slowly consumed him until he passed out. Awoken to the sounds of the janitors opera blasting down the corridors, he groans at the aching pain inside his skull. Cursing himself out for his idiocy, but happy he did not have to wait through the boredom to be set free. Not wanting to speak he pounds on the locker door with his fist in hopes to be heard over the sound of music. Luckily he is let out soon after, though Mikey is confused as to how the janitor did so without knowledge of the combination. With the nod of his head in thanks, he leaves as fast as his spider legs would allow him to. Walking through the doors of his house, ringing could be heard from the phone inside. Curious who would care to call them Mikey picked up the phone. 

"Hello" he says hesitantly.

"Mikey" a familiar voice says in relief.

"Gerard" Mikey beams.

"Hey little bro" a smile could be heard through Gerard's words.

Mikey looks down smiling in relief before speaking "how is prison treating you."

A chuckle could be heard in response "it's okay I guess, what you can expect from prison."

Laughing humorlessness in response he continues "I'm sure the food is horrible."

The brothers laugh as Gerard responds"You have no idea!"  When their laughs die down Gerard finally asks "how are you?"

"I miss you" Mikey leaves a momentary silence between them.

"I know" Gerard says quite obviously hiding his pain.

Noticing the reference immediately Mikey replies "nerd."

"I miss you too" Gerard finally says honestly before continuing "how is life on the outside?"

He was never able to lie to his older brother he tells him "not particularly good."

His voice turns serious and concerned; Gerard asks "What's wrong?"

Mikey starts to respond before the tell tale sign of the conversation being cut off interrupts the longing brothers. Sighing he hangs his head in sadness wishing desperately once again for his older sibling. Placing the dead conversation down he retreats up the stairs to his room. Needing some sort of release he plugs in his amps, and he plays out his sadness and frustration. He does so until his fingers go from pained to numb, until his eyes are dry of tears, until he is ready to collapse from the overwhelming feeling of apathy consuming his soul. Sitting in the dead silence as his bass rests on his lap he basks in the lack of feeling. That is until he is interrupted by a banging upon his door.

"Shut the fuck up" angrily slurs his supposed mother.

Blankly Mikey stares at the door as sloppy foot steps make their way back down the hall from whence they came. Deciding to do something productive since he has no homework, from his ' _thrilling_ ' day, he makes his way downstairs. Mikey grabs a garbage can to collect all the empty bottle and cans of alcohol left behind by his inebriated guardian. On the counter of the kitchen he finds discarded receipts, curious he reads them. Choking on spit and shock Mikey's eyes widen in utter surprise. his mother was spending ridiculous amounts of money on each trip to the liquor store, more than they could financially afford.

Storming up the stairs very unlike his quiet nature he barges into his mothers room "the fuck is this" he angrily asks dropping the receipts onto the floor in front of his disgrace of a mother.

"What" she sleepily slurs out from her position draped over the bed.

"We can't afford this fucking shit" Mikey seethes at her.

Groggily she looks up at him and down at the receipts, slowly cognition returning to her she responds "go away, I'm trying to sleep."

Releasing a yell in frustration before replying "are you fucking kidding me!"

Anger takes over her features as she comes into focus, as much as her drunken state will allow her to do so that is; she yells "I can do what I like you little shit!"

"Are you kidding me" Mikey exclaims again before screaming out "you can't do this when there is no money to do so!"

"I's the one who works and pay the bills, shut your trap" she shrieks out in a drunken response.

Pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration "you won't be able to pay the bills at this rate."

"Get out" she screams throwing a empty bottle of beer dangerously close to his face.

Having enough of the situation for the night, Mikey confines himself to his room for the rest of the evening. Resting his head upon his pillow he reflects on the past events of the day. He knew at this point that the difficulty of school was just beginning, and not just school, but the difficulties of this new life he is chained to. Luckily he now knows he can at least speak to his brother, that was quite a relief. Mikey was nervous how Gerard will react to what is going on though due to his protective nature. Hell this whole situation is because of Gerard trying to protect him, and Mikey could not help but blame himself. Finding himself being pulled into the grip of sleep, he lets go of consciousness letting himself falling into the dark abyss of sleep.

Mikey wakes up to the alarm he forgot he set at one point the previous morning. Slowly he makes his way through his new morning routine making sure to remember his life force; coffee. Though Mikey knew better than to bring it with him to school in fear of losing it to another incident like the morning before. After chugging down the nectar of the gods he places the empty mug beside the sink, and he runs towards the school in hopes of going to at least one of his classes today. Trying to be discrete he makes his way down the hallway of the school, but he never was good friends with father luck.

"You should have stayed in that locker" growls a voice behind him causing Mikey to freeze in fear. The voice continues to speak "watch your back" he warns before pushing past the petrified boy that is Mikey.

He was shocked that nothing else happened, and that scared him most of all. There was no way he was being left off the hook, something was going to happen, and it was not going to be good in the slightest. Shivering in fearful anticipation Mikey does his best to forget and carry on with his day. The teachers and students did not particularly give him any trouble during the morning, which he was very grateful for. Mikey did his best to focus on his school work, but per usual it was nigh impossible. 

When lunch finally came around Mikey found himself sitting in the abandoned classroom lost in the depths of his mind. He knew that his hospital bills were expensive, and his mother's new pass time was almost as expensive. This was worrying, they were losing money fast, and were soon to not be able to afford their bills. His mother was obviously going to be no help, so it was up to him. Mikey needed to do something, and he needed to do it now before it was to late. As terrifying as it was, he needed to find some sort of job, hopefully he can find somewhere that was willing to hire him. Though he knew it was probably only going to be some sketchy place that would be open to having him as their employee.

Sighing seemed to be his most used phrase at this point, and he once again used said phrase. With a roll of his eyes, he stands to get to his class early in hopes of avoiding the crowd of humans that are soon to fill the empty halls. Sitting in his desk in the back corner of the room, to which no one complained about due to not wanting him near them in any capacity anyways. The shrill ringing of the bell signals the students that class is soon to be in session, and kids as predicted before fill the hallways.

The day drones on as expected, but the continuous peace of the day heightens poor Mikey's anxiety. He started to twitch as the afternoon classes passed by, tapping his foot to a silent beat, and fidgeting his fingers as if his life depended on it. Mikey knew this moment of peace was going on to long and was bound to explode upon him, there was no joy to be held about this situation. By the time the day was over, he was beyond terrified. Rushing to get as far as he can, running to the woods as human eyes follow his movements. Sadly his escape is not to be when he turns a corner only to collide into a tall body. Falling onto his behind he knew the time had come for whatever pain he was to face.

"Told you to watch your back" speaks the voice that petrifies Mikey as if it were the eyes of Medusa.

Slowly he looks behind him from where he sits on the hard ground. Mikey is surrounded by jocks, the moment reminding him of one of those cheesy high school movies or books. Sadly this was reality, and Mikey is in for one hell of a beating. What he did not know, was how bad of a beating it was going to be. Kicks, punches, hits of bats, stomps, anything that they could possibly think of to hurt the pained boy. At this point he was ready to die, Mikey was done with living in this kind of agony. He knew no such mercy would be given unto him though, never had he been given such ever in his life, and it was not going to happen now.

After what felt like hours the assault finally ended, but the pain was only worsening as he is left their listlessly on the pavement. Day turned to night leaving Mikey to his pain, and once again to his head. At this point he was well acquainted to sitting in silence, Mikey knew the torture of being left in his head. No one seemed to care about the body lying upon the rocky ground even though his injuries seemed quite severe. The one upside to abuse is the ability to deal with pain, unlike most people Mikey was able to get up quite sooner than most would be able to. Knowing they could not afford to have Mikey back in the hospital, he heads home. There was no point of complaining to the school, no one cared about the brother of a murderer. 

"Guess I'm not getting that job any time soon" chuckles Mikey humorously.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait, life has been a mess for me lately. I have been dealing with a lot of things, and it has been a lot to deal with. Luckily it seems i can focus on writing again, which is good because it helps me disassociate from life without any harm. Not to mention some parts are me venting about certain things. I hope you enjoyed the chapter, and I will hopefully see you next Tuesday.
> 
> Love Aiden♡


	5. Not an update

I'm so sorry but I can't work on writing right now. Everything going on in my life makes it to hard to write on top of everything else. I plan to finish this fic because I have it all planned out, and am super excited about it in general. Thank you for being so patient ^ ^

**Author's Note:**

> I'm finally able to start this fic!!!! I'm so excited, I can do one of the many fics I have planned. I hope you enjoy the prologue as much as I am happy with it, though I'll probably hate it later. This fic is supposed to be roughly 20 parts long, including the prologue and epilogue. The plan is too update on Tuesdays, hopefully I can keep to schedule, I mostly did for COMWS. If you have any critiques or notice spelling/grammar mistakes, please tell me!
> 
> Thank you for reading Psycho!
> 
> Love Aiden♡


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